So the other day i was bored, (as usual) and as i was flicking through channels in the far out regions of satellite, channels like “Al Jazeera Kids” on 831 or something like that, i came across a game show. I hate game shows, but i like to boast how awesome i am to people, and there is no better way to do that then to shout out obnoxiously loud answers at everything that comes out of a speaker. Enter game shows.
The game show involved some random, skinny ass woman taking calls from depressed lonesomes (it was 3:00 am). The game comprised of a selection of prefixes, then you had to find the remainder of the word. Words do not get my point across that well, so i drew a picture:
Guessing a word would lead to a random cash prize, ranging from £100, to £2000. All sorts of dumbass answers were flying out of the phone, “High society” “High time”. All these were stupid answers yes, but nothing could have prepared me for the hysterics that came next. There was 2 seconds left, the last call, and man named Jerry phoned in, his immortal words have been scorched into my mind forever, “Hi… Christy, erm, is Hijack one of em?”. HIJACK! HIJKACK! HI FUCKING JACK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I couldn’t stop myself laughing with anger. I was so pissed off that there were people in the world who are willing to spend £5 on a call, when they don’t even know how to spell the god damn word they were suggesting. I laughed but my anger was refining it’s self inside me.
I could just imagine this guy, he was about 35, stuck in a dead end job, no girlfriend, no social life, he spent all his money on out dated porn magazines and video games (obviously the remainder on game shows). A moment of sympathy flashed in my mind. Then i realised who i was, what he had said, and what had just happened. I couldn’t forgive myself and still hold it against myself to this day. How could i have empathise with such a moron, i hated everything about game shows, and probably everything about him.
I still think to this day, how stupid can the human race get? I would have given this guy a place in my upcoming article “Dinkoman’s Darwin awards.” but the space in there is saved for people who actually need it. People i thank for getting rid of themselves.
