Calpe Trip – [Foreword: It gets better below. With pictures.] Each year I generally go on a few holidays (vacations to those Americans) and I have been to quite a few places in my life time. Last summer I went on a 2 week trip to Calpe, Spain. Spain is not the most glamorous destination as it is possibly the number 1 holiday destination for British people. I have been to Spain and the Balearic Islands many times and Calpe is one of the nicest places I have seen. There are advantages to Spain of course, and these advantages make it one of the top destinations for Europeans; warm weather, sandy beaches and the relative inexpensiveness are what attracts most to Spain and sure these are great but are not the reasons why I love the country so much.

Over The Pyrenees

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I’ve seen this guy before a while ago. He has to be my favourite weather forecaster in the world, it could piss it down with rain all day and i would be happy hearing it from this guy.

I know it’s not the article I promised but I am still in the middle of writing that one and several others. 4000 words is a lot longer than I expected ahaha. Anyway, I had THE MOST AWESOME ride home today! I decided to attempt my commute in Jeans and a Leather Jacket (gloves and all the usual as well of course) instead of my filthy touring/enduro suit. It’s the first dry day I can remember in recent times and what an epic ride it turned out to be.

When I set off at 10:30am it was around 1C (degrees = 34F) but glorious sunshine and no rain predicted for the whole day. I miss going out in my leather jacket, it reminds me of the Summer time, last Summer in particular – which was one of the greatest. It did occur to me before I set off that I might be a little chilly but I had layered up wearing my under suit. It turns out that I had become a little too accustomed to my touring suit as I got pretty cold, pretty fast. Not to deter me though.

To get the true picture of what I am describing you really need to know what my commute is like. I live about 10 miles away from where I work and where I live it is semi-mountainous with fast twisty roads and beautiful scenery. After about 7 miles of this it heads to inner city type traffic, heavy traffic. Well that is at 9:00am. Seeing as I set off at 10:30am some days I miss most of the traffic, but generally get stuck behind some commercial vehicle making overtaking almost impossible. The way to work was pretty uneventful as I was stuck behind a coach of school children who had never seen a motorcycle before judging by the endless waves I kept getting. However the way back was completely different!

3:40pm and I set off. The traffic was as usual but for some reason I had a real aggressive feeling towards queues and filtered the entire city section of the journey. I usually filter but if I am behind a car or two the lights change pretty quickly so I just tend to sit behind most days and only filter if the traffic is more than 2 cars. Well it turns out that if I am at the front of every light than nobody is every in front of me. Who would have guessed?

This is the Google Street view location for where i took this picture.

To be honest filtering the entire way was kind of fun for once. Generally it is dull, grey and raining when I filter so it gets kind of boring but the sun changes everything! As I got out of the city and the road opened up my excitement meter went form 5/10 to maximum overdrive! Every corner was pure bliss. DRY ROADS! For the first time in 3 months – DRY ROADS! I decided to go the long way home through the moorland to my house and snapped this awesome picture on my phone (above). It’s amazing how something as simple as dry roads and no traffic can lighten your day/week/life. In general I am a happy person but this past week has been dragging for some reason. I needed that. Thank you weatherman and BRING ON SUMMER!

*Sorry for some of the grammar and structure but I have been awake for 20 hours now, it is 1am and I am tired as… well nothing is more tired than I am right now but I promised an article, even if it is mediocre. I will tell you about my upcoming Amsterdam trip shortly!

I am writing quite a long article at the moment about my trip to Spain. I may break it down and put it into a series of smaller articles. It does contain videos and a lot of pictures as well. It should be pretty much wrapped up and posted for tomorrow. Just to let you know. If you want continuous updates then follow me on twitter.

Also my book is scheduled for release on April 2nd 2010, i’ll update you later but it is called “The Politics of Life: A Guide To Awesome!”. It will be released on the Blurb website but i’ll give you a link nearer the time. In case many of you newer readers do not know, the book is actually nothing to do with my writing on this website. It is a series of satirical and comedic articles which may will be offensive to some people, that i wrote while i was writing on ComedyOnline.tv. I wrote the book a while ago and both my writing and style have improved a LOT over the past year. Unfortunately i do not have time to rewrite it and i don’t really want to waste the hundreds of hours i put into it. This is why i will most likely be releasing it for internet consumption only (will be sold on Amazon later in the year, already have a deal). Obviously i’d appreciate it if you bought it as i could really do with buyign some more cigars. Oh and my insurance is due for renewal.

*Sorry about the spelling mistakes but i am just whipping this up as an update and it is late.

Today I Will Adopt A Child – Sheffield :: Much to the dismay of everybody around me I randomly stop and take pictures of things I see during my day to post on twitter. I decided that seeing as not everybody follows me I would post some of the funnier things on the site, just a quick little life update type article which adds a degree of humour to the reviews and endless droning.

Over the past few weeks I have been noticing countless numbers of signs that appear in my home city – Sheffield; which is renowned for not only being the city with the most trees per person in Europe but is also a self proclaimed “haven for asylum seekers”. Probably because everybody else who actually lives here knows what a complete shit-hole the place is. Nevertheless I continue to digress (that was totally intentional… awesome).

Of all the countless things Sheffield City Council could spend their vast fortunes of my hard earned money on they have decided that it would be in the best interests of the electorate to display posters which advertise where you can adopt children! I’m not entirely sure what they are advertising as the sign leaves far too much to the imagination as you can see below. My guess is that they are trying to subliminally convey the picture of the “nuclear family”, much like the Nazi state.

Yes this picture was took at 2:30pm. Beautiful weather is one of the many attractions to those permenant holiday makers.

This wouldn’t normally bother me but the more I think about it the more it does. If we disregard the obvious fact that NOT A SINGLE PERSON on the planet decides to adopt a child because they saw a poster saying so (Madonna is not a person) we get to an even deeper problem. Money. Sheffield is pretty much falling to pieces. I hate to say it but even a communist government would do a better job than the current ones and yet what do they spend thousands of pounds doing? Making posters for adoption!

I just find it hard (that’s what she… oh never mind) and slightly amusing to imagine a scenario where you are telling your kids on how they were “conceived” or “chosen” and the whole story would be summarised by. “Well kids… *awkward silence*… we chose you because a sign told us too”. If you are honestly thinking of adoption then surely you would go out of the way and do the research yourself? It is not something which just springs to mind like the idea of mixing two brands of cereal together to form honey puffs. I’m running out of steam with this though and you see my point. I simply find the whole thing quite bewildering.