Disaster Movie - At Least They Got The Name Right

Disaster Movie - At Least They Got The Name Right:

If anyone goes to see this i will personally come and chop your nuts off for promoting this babbling bullshit. Hell, i don’t even want to write about it! But here goes…

Seriously, watching two gay men wrestle in mud then start getting off with each other would be more interesting and have a less risk of suicide than watching any movie with the name “Jason Friedberg” attached to it.

The reason why they have enough money to keep making this shit is because idiots go and watch it. In my line of work i interview people (not job intreviews… oh no, i’m not one of those), i interview them about pop culture on Radio. And i found that just about every 14 year old boy i asked had seen Epic movie, Meet the Spartans, Date movie and any other shit these guys threw out. Guess what? Just about every one of them said that “it’s right good”, “it’s right funny” or “it’s right awesome”, are we seeing a reoccurring trend here?

Also, Carmen Electra can’t act for shit, i act better than her in my email responses, pretending to be interested. Guess what? I bet i am going to be in the next movie these guys make, i wonder what would happen to me? I bet nothing would fall on my head though, i mean, how much shit can fall form the sky? Nobody would fucking expect that! Carmen Electra was at her prime when she did workout DVD’s… 10 years ago.

I of course research my articles before i write them and i had a quick check on the IMDB boards for “Jason Friedberg”:

Big surprise there! Next piece of evidence! Lets look at the ratings for these films:

Date Movie = 2.6/10 (I think that’s a record high!)

Epic Movie = 2.2/10 (Which makes it onto the Bottom Hundred ALL TIME! At a dis-respectable position of #78)

Meet the Spartans = 2.4/10

As you can see, not much has changed in the world of the inane “Spoof movie” genre. Not much has changed in the quality of “Jason Friedberg’s” directing, producing, writing and every other position he could slap his name over. “Jason” reminds me of one of those assholes who will deliberately draw over something you have written on, vying for attention and glory that stems from his deep jealousy for decent Movie making skills.

For those of you idiots who still believe that the “jokes” in his movie are funny and will say “it might just be that the actors are always shitty”. You’re obviously an asinine moron so i don’t know why i am going to answer you, but i will. For a start, try getting a new casting agent, besides from that, Alyson Hannigan, who starred in Date movie has actually got far better acting skills than these movies can ever take her. She also stars in the CBS sitcom “How I met Your Mother”, which I’ve been watching. It’s actually a really great program, now i am beginning to write horribly as I’m writing this at 4:24 in the morning. She obviously thought the same as me when she appeared in the first movie, Date Movie, and decided not to return for the sequels. More than i can say for a certain person whose name rhymes with Barman Sextra.

It’s not just “Jason” who should be taking the heat here though, his “writing partner”, who i think is called Alka Seltzer, probably because of his shitty movies he keeps chucking out at lightning speeds. I don’t really know A. Seltzers purpose or what he does; you see, on IMDB it says he writes the movies, which i find hard to believe seeing as all of his movies just seem to be improvised on the spot. I know one movie i won’t be seeing this Summer. They’ll probably have another few come out before the year is done as well. I just hope you people take joy in the fact that you are making these people millionaires for effectively destroying a whole genre.

P.S. After writing this article one of my beloved fans emailed me telling me there was already an article by this name. Obviously this was unintentional, but i am glad to see that there are at least two sane people on this planet. Here’s the article.