Yes, i’m ill. Which means that i’m not updating today. However because over the weekend most videos sites stop updating their homepage, i will spread the videos out over the weekend, which will probably work out better anyway. The Pictures and articles will come on weekends as usual.
Thanks for everyone’s consideration.
Disaster Movie - At Least They Got The Name Right:
If anyone goes to see this i will personally come and chop your nuts off for promoting this babbling bullshit. Hell, i don’t even want to write about it! But here goes…
Seriously, watching two gay men wrestle in mud then start getting off with each other would be more interesting and have a less risk of suicide than watching any movie with the name “Jason Friedberg” attached to it.
The reason why they have enough money to keep making this shit is because idiots go and watch it. In my line of work i interview people (not job intreviews… oh no, i’m not one of those), i interview them about pop culture on Radio. And i found that just about every 14 year old boy i asked had seen Epic movie, Meet the Spartans, Date movie and any other shit these guys threw out. Guess what? Just about every one of them said that “it’s right good”, “it’s right funny” or “it’s right awesome”, are we seeing a reoccurring trend here?
Also, Carmen Electra can’t act for shit, i act better than her in my email responses, pretending to be interested. Guess what? I bet i am going to be in the next movie these guys make, i wonder what would happen to me? I bet nothing would fall on my head though, i mean, how much shit can fall form the sky? Nobody would fucking expect that! Carmen Electra was at her prime when she did workout DVD’s… 10 years ago.
I of course research my articles before i write them and i had a quick check on the IMDB boards for “Jason Friedberg”:
Big surprise there! Next piece of evidence! Lets look at the ratings for these films:
Date Movie = 2.6/10 (I think that’s a record high!)
Epic Movie = 2.2/10 (Which makes it onto the Bottom Hundred ALL TIME! At a dis-respectable position of #78)
Meet the Spartans = 2.4/10
As you can see, not much has changed in the world of the inane “Spoof movie” genre. Not much has changed in the quality of “Jason Friedberg’s” directing, producing, writing and every other position he could slap his name over. “Jason” reminds me of one of those assholes who will deliberately draw over something you have written on, vying for attention and glory that stems from his deep jealousy for decent Movie making skills.
For those of you idiots who still believe that the “jokes” in his movie are funny and will say “it might just be that the actors are always shitty”. You’re obviously an asinine moron so i don’t know why i am going to answer you, but i will. For a start, try getting a new casting agent, besides from that, Alyson Hannigan, who starred in Date movie has actually got far better acting skills than these movies can ever take her. She also stars in the CBS sitcom “How I met Your Mother”, which I’ve been watching. It’s actually a really great program, now i am beginning to write horribly as I’m writing this at 4:24 in the morning. She obviously thought the same as me when she appeared in the first movie, Date Movie, and decided not to return for the sequels. More than i can say for a certain person whose name rhymes with Barman Sextra.
It’s not just “Jason” who should be taking the heat here though, his “writing partner”, who i think is called Alka Seltzer, probably because of his shitty movies he keeps chucking out at lightning speeds. I don’t really know A. Seltzers purpose or what he does; you see, on IMDB it says he writes the movies, which i find hard to believe seeing as all of his movies just seem to be improvised on the spot. I know one movie i won’t be seeing this Summer. They’ll probably have another few come out before the year is done as well. I just hope you people take joy in the fact that you are making these people millionaires for effectively destroying a whole genre.
P.S. After writing this article one of my beloved fans emailed me telling me there was already an article by this name. Obviously this was unintentional, but i am glad to see that there are at least two sane people on this planet. Here’s the article.
Batman Dark Knight review is out tomorrow on this site. Yes it’s a bit late but you can wait, check back tomorrow to see. Also, there are of course images and videos updated daily and i have some new articles and a competition to get out soon. Keeping checking back.
The Virus monologue
Just before i get started, the interesting bit is below. Skip two paragraphs if you care nothing of me.
As i mentioned at the bottom of the last article the update of the site was delayed due to a problem with my PC’s connection to the internet. After enduring through hours of vigorous virus scans, malware scans and spyware scans it appears i had a good 10 “deadly” ones on my PC; of which all had come in through various torrent downloads. This meant that i had to format my PC and start again, or at least on that drive. You see being the person who is at a higher intellectual level than most people, i have a back-up drive on my PC, which allows me to sort the problem externally.
However the problem arose when i tryed to delete or quarantine any of the infections (actually mainly trojans, not viruses). It seems that they shut down my drive and that was that. Anyway unlike 99% of the sad losers on the internet my intention is not to bore you with sob stories of my life, so thats not what i’m going to do.
The Virus monologue - Who makes viruses?
Imagine what the people who make these viruses/trojans look like. I sort of feel sympathetic already. What i imagine is some skinny ass, limp dick, prepubescent boy sat there jerking off to some wedding pictures he found on an infected computer. Thats how much i hate these people.
